#She felt very creative at that
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Moderate-sized art dump
Most of this is old art 😔
some Petey doodles and a lil Maria
Oh you like Maria? Two more doodles and a gif
Speaking of my gals some Anita stuff and a half-butted remake of that one breaking bad comic that I never finished the second bit
A doodled design sheet for a never-finished idea for Jacenotjason’s WH OP AU and a design for a scene I wanted to remake but never did for a voiceover for that AU’s Poppy
Andy and Gee Gee doodle
And last but certainly not least a design idea for a These Shallow Graves (book) AU for Eddie to be one of the main characters, ironically also Eddie
#Shizzy art#I fear I did indeed queerbait with the first image 💔#Promise I will post actual art of the two (Petey and Ruben) next time I post art#Which might be a while…#Guns n’ coke#<ship name#Bc like in my head of ideas#Petey is a mobster (guns)#And Ruben is a dealer (coke)#And then guns n’ coke#Im so smart#One if my friends proposed them as DiamondDust#And I like that too so yay#Anyways the other critters#I changed Petey’s original design bc it just came to me#So he’s a demon now#The other three images are mush older#like at least from late late 2023…#And Maria is still much the same#first image is her outfit#Which im thinking of changing bc 2023 art…#And the second is her Halloween costume#Cinderella but before the dress#She felt very creative at that#Anita also has gone a design change#the first image I drew yesterday#And the second was during an exempted math final ❤️🩹#May or may not finish the other bit of that meme#I’m gonna cut myself off here bc I’m yapping way too much#Send an ask if you wanna know more about these freaks or just want me to yap more 🙏🙏🙏
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Isn't this what you wantеd? Time sure feels like it's running out Just finish what you startеd Queen of nothing Wearing such a heavy crown
PLEASE listen to Queen of Nothing by The Crane Wives !
#holly art#warrior cats#warrior cats fanart#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#!!#bramblestar#brambleclaw#if i were a more disciplined and creative artist i would make the squilfstar animatic in my head to this song real but alas....#just endlessly OTL thinking about her meeting starclan for the second time this time for her leader ceremony & it feeling incredibly bitter#even though its also a personal triumph for her. she's getting older. she felt like her time was running out. she wanted to be the greatest#leader of thunderclan when she was a kit but it means something else now#yes her crown looks more like a tiara. i promise the symbolic? metaphoric? weight of it is still very much heavy#ms paint art
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So anyway The Marvels is probably the best MCU movie since No Way Home
#spoilers in tags#the memory scene had me CACKLING#the trio dynamic was so good#and the fight scenes were SO fun and creative#and Kamala’s family moving into the Rambeau house was so heartwarming#Carol’s PRINCESS DRESS??? HELLO??? gorgeous. beautiful. showstopping. no notes#Carol still comes off as very sapphic to me which I was very happy about#that hat she wore even looks like it was the lesbian pride flag colors#someone please scream about this movie with me I loved it so much#I haven’t felt this way about a MCU movie in a long time#the marvels#captain marvel#Carol Danvers#kamala khan#monica rambeau#ms marvel#photon#MCU#Marvel#marvel cinematic universe
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#pranabefall#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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S: So, you’d think after the 6th “no” he’d get the idea that I wasn’t interested, but he was persistent. Came back the next day with an axe bigger than you as a “proposal gift”. So I told him, fine, if he could beat me with the axe, then I’d take him up on the offer.
G: Is this my invitation to the wedding or a funeral?
S: Do I look like a blushing bride to you?
#toa oc#trollhunters oc#tales of arcadia oc#my oc#skara the sharp#this one's mine#i made a thing#my art#gunmar the black#she did keep the axe tho#i haven#havent felt very creative lately but i figured itd be#best to at least try to make something#skara is looking at small Bular#bular the butcher#i know i said they weren't realy friend friends#but like they hang they drink
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i feel a heavy pressure like someone is sitting on my chest making it so i can’t breathe whenever i think about how every single structure in society and social conditioning makes it so that women have no choice but to inevitably end up with a male and it is pushed so hard as the only possible viable option and it feels choking and inescapable (personal rambling vent in tags)
#even if we supposedly have more options now than ever before it still isn’t enough#it’s still a fight and a struggle to avoid#and i look around and almost every woman i know is shacked up with some dude in one form or another just to survive#even if she doesn’t like it or even actively hates it#like my mom#but she brainwashes herself to try to convince herself that she’s ok with it#it’s all so bleak#i know there is hope#and i’m currently biding my time until i can get out on my own and try to practice more female separatism type living styles etc#but it’s difficult and lonely especially when it feels like you’re the only woman you know trying to go for something like that#hell even my childhood best friend who i love dearly and she is very into women and does things with them regularly#even she is shacked up with some dude and it’s just like god that sucks but i don’t want to be a hater#and maybe i’m a hypocrite because i was with some guy for so long but i realized that it SUCKS and i didn’t have to be forced to stay there#and i left#but even that was tough! when it’s been drilled into my head my whole life that that is the only way i can be or do anything or exist!#i want to get out on my own do my own thing do this medical job get this degree go to med school do do my own thing#keep my name never give birth never get married unless it’s to a woman#i promised myself i would never get in a relationship with a man ever again and i am sticking to it 100% even if i have to fight these dudes#i work with to fuck off#it’s all just so tiring#but i’m getting there#i don’t care how nice or perfect supposedly some guy is because at the end of the day he’s still a guy#and i refuse to deal with that shit anymore or ever again#i should have never dealt with it in the first place but at least i know better now and i’ve learned and i know i’ll never go back#i want to read my books more often#and do more creative things#i’ve just felt very depressed and unmotivated because i feel like my life isn’t where it should be right now#but i went to the therapist today and she said i’m actually making a lot of progress and i shouldn’t compare myself to other people#which it’s very difficult not to but yeah#idk i’m still trying to get my shit together but so is everybody else
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I had a dream about library girl
#I the dream she sent me a series of texts meant for her best friend#The texts spoke about me and how she was kinda torn between me and another woman#Also she apparently wasn't even sure she was into women lmao#The texts hurt me but I was also happy to know how she felt and I told her I like her enough to just be friends#Which is true#I really like how she speaks about creative writing#Anyway#Irl I stopped texting her because I felt like it was very one sided#She doesn't ask me anything and I was very much the only one keeping the convo going#So its been a few days since we spoke#I don't think she's into me#I think she's just an extrovert#And how she interacts with me is how she interacts with everyone#At the moment I just don't feel like she matches my energy or interest level#Honestly I wish that dream were real#Just so I could know for sure where we stand
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Everyone say hi to my new hunter Aloysha lmao ✨️ She's a mercenary currently under Ruza's employ (Aloysha sweet-talked her into it), or at least that was the case until the two of them got tangled up and separated in the paleblood hunt. Aloysha has a pretty great time there to be honest.
#sin scribbles#bloodborne oc ; aloysha#(this was a great refresher after that rank af artblock smh)#(and my friend has a crush on her so i felt obliged to make and post this 😂😂😂)#(ruza is like...the oc i take very seriously. and aloysha is my full feral self indulgent tendencies coming out LOL)#(if ur noticing a pattern with me enjoying women with fangs and shaves no u AINT 💅)#(i said i wanted a kin-scourge beast electro werewolf hunter and boy did i treat myself!!!!!!)#(personally i think i DESERVE to be silly 😤 )#(unlike the genteel and quiet ruza aloysha is Jumbo Big Spicy.)#(WILL bite/electrocute u if no belly rubs are provided confirmed)#(maybe a less 'serious' addition but in the same breath 😂 she was so vital 4 me to escape creative block)#(im v grateful she helped me consolidate a lot of ideas LOL)#(my electro wolf queen!!!!)
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Also I got my essay exam back today. Full points!!! Which was a surprise bc my 4th essay was definitely lower quality than the other three (bc I rushed it), but still good enough to get full points!!!!
Makes me wonder what that other one I spied being a 1 was like 🤔🤔🤔 bro was NOT good at writing I guess.
#speculation nation#weird grading scale. each essay was rated 0 thru 3. 0 being Real Bad or just plain wrong.#1 being Okay. 2 being Good. and 3 being Excellent. according to what my professor explained.#and all the points for all 4 essays were totaled. so since i got 3s on all 4 i got 12/12 points.#but he also said it's not like percentage based for the grades. 3s earn As 2s earn Bs and 1s earn Cs. presumably.#so even if u got a 4/12 thats not failing. still not very good tho.#i realized when i was writing that it really has been a while since ive done a proper essay. im a techie not a literature student.#i do scientific reports so much more than fucking Essays.#i tried to dust off the old skills tho and i guess i did pretty good overall. tho i wonder. it feels like he was pretty lax in grading.#bc im being honest my last essay was Not Good in structure. i was rushing bigtime. i just wanted it done.#but i guess bc i answered all the questions and was generally good at diction (creative writing Does help with this)#it was still good enough to be a 3. which makes me So Curious how bad that person did to get a 1......#i only caught a peek when i was grabbing mine. couldnt look too in depth.#ALSO THO tuesday's presenter got a 7.6 As Opposed To my 8.6!!! professor gave them a 7 (as opposed to my 8)#which makes me feel a little better about how i did. (this scale out of 9 lol). bc like. i did better than them at least!!#felt a lil bad for today's presenter. she was clearly getting kind of frazzled. it rly is hard to present for an hour.#we write out critiques for every presentation. stuff we liked and stuff we didnt. unfortunately i had criticisms to give 😔#but i try to sandwich it with good things too. so it's not All bad things. i still feel bad critiquing them#but such is the review expectations. i try to at least be fair about it.#(to clarify. grades arent announced to the class. i just sit right up front near where he puts the papers and im Nosy lol)
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I really shouldn't be so afraid to post this, but this one post has bothered me enough to the point where I just had to rant about it. I won't be surprised if this post results in a lot of followers dumping my ass. There's another controversial rant post I'm gonna make soon, so I guess this is a good enough warm-up.
It does take a lot of mental gymnastics to make "Rules for thee, not for me" sound justifiable.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Also, I don't think that equity is working out very well right now with the race-bent Snow White.
youtube
Side-note: Snow White's fucking name comes from the in-story explanation: "skin as white as snow". But that's not something we should respect right!
Just imagine the number of hopeful girls who would've been honored to have been chosen for the role of Disney's first-ever princess and would have shown so much more respect for the role and the story than this. I'd hope the social brownie points were worth it, but most people are actually seeing this lady for what she truly is.
Hell, the bigger problem nowadays is how most Disney Princesses are being given the same feminist story beats, being strong independent women who don't need no man and are also total girl bosses. Sure, just gut out the story in the name of "progression". And slowly make the Disney Princesses a "progressive" hive mind.
Also, there's the whole Nani controversy that really shows how skewed the priorities are of everyone who advocates for blackwashing established white characters.
Nani being dark-skinned isn't crucial to the story, though. Her actress is still a native Hawaiian, which is objectively the more important representative aspect of casting in a movie set in Hawaii with Hawaiian culture being heavily featured.
Look, personally I'd advocate for casting people who actually look like the characters they're portraying if these live-action remakes must be a thing.
But clearly the Hollywood execs don't agree. So this casting doesn't bother me. If anything, I find it hilarious - especially after seeing everyone throw a hissy fit over this. It showcases their hypocrisy, as these are the same people who were all "CHANGING ARIEL'S SKIN COLOR DOESN'T MATTER YOU BIGOTS". On top of that, these people are actually wishing harm on this actress, solely over her skin color.
Let me guess, though. It isn't really racism if colored people oppress and threaten and harm white people, right? By this logic, it's just a matter of ~equity~ that fair-skinned folk are subjected to the same prejudice. For fuck's sake.
Nah, let's just normalize the concept that no one can relate to a character unless said character looks just like them. Let's encourage kids to embrace narcissism and refuse to find commonalities in characters that don't physically resemble them in any way.
Because apparently it doesn't matter that I can't see myself and my mother in Tiana, even though her driven, workaholic underdog story resonates with us. But because we're not black, we're not allowed to feel a kinship. It's inconceivable for a little girl to feel that she, for what she is on the inside, can relate to a Disney Princess that she shares no physical traits with.
Maybe I'm just crazy for believing we should focus more on who we are than what we are. Maybe I'm a monster for discouraging indulgence in narcissistic behavior. Am I a bigot for rolling my eyes every time I hear a cry for "MUH REPRESENTATION"?
I like to think I'm not. But society is so heavily fucked in so many ways these days. So much that I'm actually afraid to post this publicly.
But I shouldn't be afraid to speak my mind when I see bullshit being glorified. So I'm gonna give my piece, come what may.
#I don't even think the live action remakes should exist#I am against them as a concept#and there's not a single one I enjoy#they're symptomatic of disney's creative bankruptcy#not a single one of them add anything to the legacy of their counterparts#but I can't make them not happen so#at the very least I just feel the need to point out the hypocrisy#halle bailey to her credit was much more respectful of the movie she was starring in the remake of#even called ariel her 'absolutely' favorite disney princess#but then proceeded to celebrate all these changes to her character#but like#ariel still had fascinations of the human world in the og#she had that long before she met eric#she didn't just give up her legs for a man goddammit#her father fucking traumatized her by destroying her special place#she felt like she couldn't go back home#cuz she's like 16 y'know and teens be dumb like that#that scene in the og of triton blasting all of ariel's things was legit scary for me as a kid#I totally understand ariel being stupid enough to trust ursula because she felt she had no place to go#that's what I hate about these remakes#the actors/actresses totally muddle the message of the source material#anyway sorry if this offends any of you following me#I'm just sick of the hypocrisy and it being glorified#Youtube
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12. laughter for AuRaApril and 12. treasure for VieraprilJust a lil sketchy for today <3 <3 laughing around a table full of delicious food is the real treasure hehe
#AuRaApril#AuRaApril2024#Vierapril#Vierapril2024#ffxiv#Styrnrael tag#Bertram tag#Seishin tag#I felt soooooo emotional making this one#Niko planned a very elaborate RP in which Bertram made a 7 course dinner for Seishin and Styrnrael#He hid clues about his life and story within each dish...#And with each one Seishin and Styrnrael learned more and more about Bertram through the meal#Styrn had almost no experience eating such fine cuisine so she also learned a lot about appreciating food#She had once just seen it as a way to survive...#Instead of a comfort or form of love -- Bertram and Seishin had their own ways of seeing some things as means for survival#But in many ways this was a turning point where they were no longer just trying to survive...#They were home#Their home#And so making this really made me feel emotional because I wanted to express how happy they all are to be feeling this#but also because I am still so appreciative of that very special RP and for the people I get to be creative with#Sharing a meal really is a treasure <3#I better go before I cry!!!!#Bye! Love you!#Mwah!#oh wait#meguart#okay bye for real
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the month ive been at this university has really made me confront the fact that it really is the people who are the most bourgeoisie who hate the bourgeoisie the most. like foucault is the archetype for this but reading kropotkin's speech at his trial in 1883 and then seeing his father was a royal officer who owned serfs in multiple provinces, descended from a grand princess, his mother was the daughter of an extremely prominent general and descendant of multiple noble families. and then u try to get to your bus stop and the guy with a vivienne westwood necklace and designer sweater from the revolutionary communist party is trying to get u to scan a qr code from his iphone 15 or whichever it is now to donate For The Cause. i never really fully understood why it's the raised catholic, wealthy, etc. people who hate the catholic, wealthy, etc. people so much but i suppose it is some mentality where you were raised so well behaved and privileged that it's the first instinct to rebel against it. and obviously like if you're recognising you come from an incredibly wealthy background and are using said wealth and said circumstances to advance your cause whatever it may be then have at it obviously but so many of these types (foucault ..... side eye....) try their best to hide it and never mention it
#also i really never realised how “poor” these people could consider me until i said i felt sick about spending 25 eur this month already on#eating out but the sudden weather change has made me very prone to getting a quiche on my way from school when it's dark and cold#and my italian friend said oh wtf that's nothing and showed me she spent TWO THOUSAND euros last month#like hey now. maybe i will let you buy me this coffee...#my other eastern european friend as well he bought a new jacket bc it got cold and i was like you cant just borrow one from your family?#nope. he came down with a new levi's fur-lined denim jacket. like alright#side note anyhow they;ve got to stop counting the iphones eventually and get more creative. like iphone 23 doesn't sound good. none of them#do except iphone 5 .
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We know the lasso of lies makes any lie the user holds come true, makes people believe the lie.
What if that is how Lizzie was born?
Someone, or even Diana, says that she has a daughter while holding the lasso and because she's holding it the lie becomes 'truth'.
It would also make sense why she would even keep the lasso of lies as maybe she needs to hold it to stay tethered to reality, to stay alive. Especially since it's wrapped around her more like an accessory than equipment.
And also why she feels so disconnected from her 'mother' Diana, because Diana is a woman of truth and she was born of lies.
Plus this would also make it so Diana doesn't have to 'spend time' pregnant in the world of comics, people will believe she had already been pregnant, and also do away with any questions of who Lizzie's dad is (unless she makes the lie while holding the rope with someone, or the 'King of America' created her to burden Diana and so he is technically her father).
I hate that I'm thinking of this. I blame all the artists I like announcing their own variant covers for the Trinity special dropping in 2024. Shows how much DC really wants this to be a success + want to sell as many as possible using variant covers to point to as proof of concept (like they're doing with the WW series rn - why wait until NOW for Jim Lee to do the final piece of the triptych).
#dc comics#dcu#wonder woman#trinity#anti-trinity the daughter#if she is a lie then we can get rid of her much easier#but also it shows how controversial DC knows this idea is and only a small pool of people are excited for it#with the amount of creatives they've had talking about tk's ww run and lizzie#i dont doubt they asked gail simone to say something nice so they can use her credibility#and all the art covers have such a poor ratio of likes/retweets comparative to other posts by the artist and their follower count#im hoping late 2024 we can put lizzie to bed a final time#diana realizing the truth and going 'you aren't real' and lizzie disappearing#that's what id do lol or something similar to wipe the slate clean#also just thinking about marvel's jean grey who sold out as well#and like you can argue the jean grey and ww revamp runs are very similar and they both sold out#and it felt like there wasnt as much Press regarding jean as there was ww but more people were excited for it#granted this is a solo series years in the making for jean whereas this is the umpteenth ww reboot#i feel like more people see the ww more as a cash grab than an actual important series that loves the lore
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what was harumakigohan cooking w i cant be a beautiful girl cause on one level it feels like peering deep into his soul and it almost explains exactly why he feels resonance with tales of sapphic youth and beautiful tragic disillusionment but on the other hand my god this song is so trans . its so trans
#either way hes a genius#the song has an underlying melancholy as they tend to do but it also feels hopeful and personal and aaaa#harumakigohan i love u ur everything i strive to be as a creative i preordered the meltychan figure she will b treasured#vocaloid#kINDA#harumakigohan actually captured my childhood so closely to reality it terrified me#i have a bond specifically to futarino that drives me crazy and helps me remember times ive begun to forget#im not sapphic and i was mistaken in my estimations at that age but i definitely experienced the full harumakigohan package in my youth#it was kind of crazy#anyway this song makes me feel a lot#like 'i wonder if you had connections in your past that made you feel this way'#and 'i wonder what stories youve experienced and why if you did feel them deeply in your soul#they became tales of sapphic adolescence and disillusionment and fate and death and love#perhaps im not one to talk as someone whos about to write a whole lot of very gay very personal fiction in my future#but i am non parasocially intrigued as to what hrmkghn experienced to lead him here to tell stories the way he does#cause if it felt visceral and real to me#im sure it felt even more so to him
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hehe found my first writing for astoria 🥰
#iv. tilting pretty sharply bitchward. ( marianning )#(i'm actually. VERY proud of this.)#(this is from july 24th 2012 and i made her blog the following day)#(genuinely i am so proud of the work i've done on her. i'm not willing to pretend to be modest abt this.)#(i took a character with a handful of notes as to her most basic facts: name! age! husband's name! family status! sister's name!)#(and i reverse engineered this hot mess whomst i love more than anything)#(she proved so radically different than what was made canon a few years later that i never felt any discomfort with calling her mine)#(because she WAS mine. from day one she was mine. and i've built her history w other writing partners over the years)#(but what's here now? it's mine. it's wholly mine. i made her & i shaped her. i'm so proud of her.)#(she made me feel like a person again when i didn't feel that way and hadn't for a long time)#(she made me feel creative again)#(she made me think i could actually do this and you know what?)#(i was right for it)#(honest to god this horrible little beast of a woman is the best thing that's ever happened to me and i made her!)#(also high five @ me this is good fucking writing esp considering that i was 19 and so depressed i didn't know who i was half the time)
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solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —
#honestly this mostly only happens because of my disability which. i've been dreaming/reading about navigating that in ways feel better#or else because im scared of violence as a trans woman but i’m sick of fear of violence making me passive#rarely because i got scared in the crosshairs of financial insecurity and feared losing work#but that is what im parsing this time and very determined not to let that happen ever again#cuz like. having the supposed 'non-action' of passivity even available to you is a privilege of whiteness#in this case it was taking a creative-side gig on a play that felt very clear the playwright had given very little if any consideration#to nonwhite perspectives like clearly by a white person thinking about a white audience kinda liberal politics#and i took it bc my friend's mentor was directing and she put us in touch and spoke highly of him#and she's indigenous and very willing to call out white bullshit so i had some hope/trust that he would push it more#and he........ did at least cast a latino actor in the one role that would have made the play horrifically racist#if it had been cast as a white person but that felt like doing the absolute least to me#im still very much figuring this world out#understanding the ethics of theater work and im glad i did this in that regard#cuz like. i didn't fully realize that my only real chance to make a creative + ethical statement was right out the gate in accepting the gi#as an SM like... there's really no other chance to have an opinion so i should not take work if the script doesn't align w my ethics#and use that rejection as a chance to make it clear what's fucked up#...if i even ever SM again that was the most stressful gig i've ever done and i didn't even get paid for it. fuck#sorry for writing half the post in the tags. if ur reading this ur too close >O< jk haaiiii thx for reading my diary#very much a 'i am thinking through these concepts still and ur welcome to share ur thoughts on them' kinda post
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